bitching

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Snow Sorrows

It’s been 8 hours and he’s not home from work. He got his car stuck near the 495 onramp. Then again as soon as he got to 495. His phone is dead or at least off. I’m worrying out of my mind and it’s late. I’m afraid he’ll freeze to death on the side of the road somewhere.

I just shoveled at least 8 inches of snow off the driveway, walk, and steps so he can get in when he finally gets here. And I cleaned my car off. I can’t really work from home tomorrow since I forgot to upload my work to the server to access remotely.

Crap.

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Pro Tip #1

Time for a new segment that I hope continues: Pro Tips. Here’s the first of many:

When I’m venting and bitching, just let it happen. Don’t tell me I’m wrong or try to solve my problem, unless I ask for it. Cuz really, I know why I have to do these things I bitch about having to do, but I still just need to get the frustration out of me.

Men tend to want to solve problems instead of listening. Not that I’m complaining that they want to help, but sometimes we just don’t want it.

Something women don’t tell men… Don’t help unless we ask for it. Just listen while we bitch.

Of course, the flip side of that is men like to fix stuff, so maybe we should open a bitchfest with, “just venting here” or something that triggers the “solving” area of their brains to shut down.

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Based on feedback from some of my friends/readers/interwebs, I’m going to be changing the blog a bit:

  • shorter posts
  • more frequent posts
  • more focused on the topic
  • maybe add some images
  • and maybe redo the layout design (might mean moving the blog to my own server, which I don’t really want to do)

If I could use the same design I have right now, but maybe move the sidebar to the right and change the color scheme a bit, that’d be cool. I’d like to use an image of my own as the header too. But I can’t seem to do that without uploading a whole design. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done wordpress design before (see: talesofthegrey.com), but again, that was hosted on their server. And datapike.com is unavailable. I think it was open when I first adopted the handle, but shortly after that it got scooped up by spammers/squatters. Dammit. Maybe I’ll try to get datapike.net …. sigh… I don’t know.

Post your thoughts in the comments.

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Quick Hit

Just wanted to do a quick post before I leave for the day. And I just finished up a project today that’s called a “quick hit”, hence the post title.

Monday morning I woke up sick. And I mean siiiick…. It was pretty terrible. I had apparently eaten something bad on Sunday. I didn’t even leave the bathroom all morning and still went to work, then was sent home after my work for the day got distributed to others and I finished whatever I had to do then. I only got docked 4 hours and that’s out of my sick time anyway, so it’s fine.

Irish was off for MLK day and I got him to hit CVS for some Imodium and Powerade. Granted, he went out of his way and got himself lunch while he was out, even though CVS is 2 minutes from our house and I was miserable…. but anyway…

I slept and laid around all day and he played Red Dead Redemption, ignored me and my pain, and enjoyed his day off. I felt like I was imposing on him or something, since he didn’t get to have the house to himself as he wanted.

I had found all 4 Resident Evil movies recently, so we watched the first 2 that night. They were better than expected. I was afraid I wouldn’t sleep well because of them though, but I was fine. Slept like a rock in fact. And thankfully so, cuz I woke up feeling better, not 100%, but better. I went to work, ate weird “safe” foods, and muddled through.

I’m feeling a lot better now though. And although I don’t want to cut this short, it’s 5pm, and I’m outta here.

Later.

 

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I already had my big plan for Valentine’s Day all worked out. I was going to drive Irish to the Verizon Store, and he could pick out his new phone, in all likelyhood the Droid X, and I would buy it for him. And an Otterbox case for it if he wanted one. This weekend ruined that.

I paid the $200 electric bill this month. I paid $400 toward the rent. So he had some extra money and decided it was a perfect time to buy his new phone. I told him he should wait, say, a month, just to be sure it’s what he wanted. And since I had to drive him there, I said I was okay with shopping for it, but not buying just yet. I didn’t want to tell him why he should wait, ruining the surprise, but figured he’d wait anyway.

I was wrong. Shocking.

Within 5 minutes of talking to an employee he said “alright, I’ll take it” and my jaw dropped. I was speechless, confused, and frustrated. I barely said a word after that until we got into the car and he asked if I was upset about it. Well, duh.

I explained to him that I was gonna buy him one for Valentine’s Day, if he would’ve just waited. And that yes, of course I’m upset about it. He didn’t listen to me. He didn’t trust my opinion on it. And he didn’t get the hint to just wait when I said it over and over and I’ve done this kind of thing before with him (I told him not to buy something because Santa might be getting for him, he understood then). He just thought I was trying to tell him how to spend his money, which I wasn’t. Admittedly, there’s part of me that is bitching inside about how he wanted me to help with rent and BGE and then he goes and spends that money on other stuff, but whatever.

He also apparently wasn’t expecting me to get him anything for Valentine’s, cuz no girl’s ever given him something before. So we decided that we were just going to call it his Valentine’s present anyway. And I told him I might still give him a card and a blowjob as a placeholder. Maybe 2. To this, he had the perfect response: “What am I gonna do with 2 cards?” Brilliant! I haven’t decided how I meant it yet. I just hope to get laid that day/weekend. Maybe twice if I’m lucky.

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Totally overdid it at karaoke last night. Drank too much. Got sick. Thankfully didn’t get kicked out of the bar, but slept for a bit in my car. Got cold and turned the car on for heat, then fell asleep again, burning about a 1/4 tank of gas. Got home at like 4am. Managed to not wake up Irish, but we both slept through alarms like mad this morning. Apparently his was on purpose though, since he had some overtime to burn.

Wore my “I woke up late/I’m lazy” hat today and got to work on time, but no one was here yet. Ugh. Every time.

ArmyGuy was supposed to come to karaoke last night, but had to work late, which sucked, but hopefully he’ll come down next week. I invited Irish to come since I was going home first before karaoke, but he went out with some coworkers after work. Oh well. Maybe he’ll come out next week too.

The night started out alright. I was passing out the last remnants of peppermint bark, drinking beer, and hanging out waiting for karaoke to start. Then a guy across the bar bought me a drink (but said it was actually on the bartender girl). I gladly accepted the drink, not being one to turn down free booze, and reveled in the moment since that has never happened to me before. It was pretty cool. Even if it was actually from the bartender.

Went up and sang Lips of an Angel by Hinder while I was still sober and was actually shaking a bit, which I never do. Then sang Game of Love by Santana and Michelle Branch when I was definitely drunk. But I kept drinking.

I had been debating on getting food, but didn’t know what I wanted and then had drank too much to be hungry anymore. Big mistake not ordering food. I may have been fine if I had. Food = booze sponge.

So a few hours later, it’s getting late, probably round 11:30 or so, and I start to feel woozy. I hit the bathroom as a precaution, but turns out I needed it. I didn’t end up leaving the bathroom until almost last call, at which point I had two cups of water then hit the bathroom again. And ran into an old friend from middle school as she was holding my hair back. So ridiculous. I was miserable. I didn’t expect to get that drunk last night and I’m usually a lot more responsible than that, especially when I have to drive home afterward. I just don’t know what happened.

Some friends drove me in my car to their place and I napped for a few hours in the car. The one said she’d bring out a blanket to me, but never did. I ended up getting cold and waking up, turning the car on for the heat, and falling back to sleep, the car running for a couple hours. When I woke up, I realized all that had happened and started crying. I felt like such an asshole. I don’t know how I’m going to face the bar again.

Somehow I got gas and got home safely, though a tad perilously. Managed to not wake Irish upon my arrival. Somehow. And slept clear through my alarm going off until 8am. Didn’t actually roll out of bed til 8:15-ish though. But neither did he. Was weird to be getting ready at the same time for work. I even grabbed foods for him so that he could have a decent breakfast for once.

Speaking of food, I really need to have a bread-inclusive lunch. Thinking of hitting some sandwich place, either Subworks or Eddie’s Market I think. The former is so much closer. Hmm… decisions on an empty stomach really suck.

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Cuddles

I admit I’ve been wanting more sex recently, and understand if you’re in some pain so aren’t totally up for it, but is it really too much to ask for you to cuddles? Even just being affectionate in general would be nice. And some boyfriendship. Ugh. What happened to your A game? Step it up, dude. Cuz I’m getting tired of this B game crap. I’m your girlfriend, who lives with you. I’m not just some roommate. So start acting like you understand that and just cuddle up to me, dammit.

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Oh I’m sorry. The party that I had to throw at the last minute had very few attendees and didn’t get crazy and out of control. I thought you had fun. I know I did. Well I thought we did. You said you did. Fucking liar. Tell Boobs McGee and not me, when I’m your fucking girlfriend, not her. What the hell?! Luckily I held back the tears.

I knew this was going to end badly. AngryGinger better get here soon and save me. Hopefully. Ugh.

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They toll not for me. My brother got married this weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony and I was a bridesmaid, so I was made up all girly and prissy. It was weird, but awesome. The event lasted all weekend and was quite a huge deal. I’m very impressed with how it all came together so well and, as I told the happy couple, I couldn’t have thrown a better wedding myself. It was everything I could have imagined and more. I told my brother at the reception that I’m very proud of him. He was confused and asked me why. I smiled, saying “if my big geeky brother can find true love and happiness in this world, it gives me hope that I can too”, then sipped my champagne and just grinned. It was nice to have a brother/sister moment there. I think it also gave him a clue to my uncertainties about my status with Irish, but also my hopes that it’ll work. Honestly, at this point I can’t say for sure either way of how I think it’ll go. I’m just going with the flow. But back to the wedding stuffs, here’s a breakdown of the weekend.

Saturday – Rehearsal/Dinner:
We parked at the Rusty Scupper then walked up to Federal Hill to do a run-through of the ceremony. I finally found out which of my brother’s friends would be walking me down the aisle and when we did our rehearsal walk, we both started strutting with this silly walk, with no prompting or collaboration at all. It was pretty amazing. We both were giggling about it afterwards. Dinner was at the Rusty Scupper, which sounds terrible, but was actually pretty good.  Open bar and good crab soup. And then chocolate fondue for dessert. So full of win. Except for the fact that the fondue fountain got way too hot and burned the chocolate. But oh well. Twas still good.

Sunday – Prep/Wedding:
Woke up around 7 to go to breakfast at Miss Shirley’s Cafe. The selection there was amazing, but I just wasn’t that hungry. I ended up with sweet tea(with a sprig of mint), Cinnamon Danish pancakes, and bacon. Ate about half the pancakes before I just couldn’t do it anymore. It sucked a bit because I’ve learned that to me, pancakes are like Chinese food – I get hungry again an hour later. And it messes with my stomach too. Which on a day where I am going to be in a wedding and outside and nowhere near civilization for awhile… sucks. And it did. I felt fluky all day, but was also hungry. I ended up grabbing a slice of pizza that the boys ordered, even though it was after the girl did my makeup.

I finally got my hair done, then the hairdresser said I looked like a movie star. Meh. I did look pretty good I guess. After prettying up and getting dressed, we did pictures all around the hotel, then piled into the limo to head to the ceremony. It was beautiful. My escort and I joked quietly about the strut walking, but decided we shouldn’t do it for the actual ceremony. Hearing my brother’s vows made me cry though. I had no idea he was capable of such strong emotion. Just… wow. The geekyness was definitely there too, because there were a lot of video game references and such. Very cool.

After looking around the entire ceremony, I got my phone from my father and found out that Irish had not made it. In fact, at the time of the ceremony’s start, he had given up trying to find the hotel to catch the shuttle and had gone back home to get better directions. I lost it. It was the most beautiful wedding ever, and I was all dolled up, and I really wanted him to see it, and I wanted to get pictures taken with him. And none of that got to happen. I texted him back, saying that it was over and that cocktail hour starts at 7, so be there. By the time we got back to the hotel and I had a glass of wine in my hand, I felt a bit better, even though I still had no confirmation of his status.

Around 7:15, he showed up. I took him around and introduced him to my family and friends. He hated it, of course. But the free beer and snacks seemed to placate him slightly. The loud music was really bugging him, which I had apparently tuned out, since I didn’t notice it til he mentioned it. Then when I told him it was time for dinner, but that he wouldn’t be sitting with me, he got huffy again. There was nothing I could do about that though. There wasn’t enough space at the bridesmaid table for him to eat there, but he did get seated with my cousins, who he had just met and with whom he had sorta hit it off.

We lined up in our bridal party order and made our entrance. My escort and I once again strutting and being silly, this time while carrying champagne. Delicious. The happy couple did their first dance to Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars”, which coincidentally we had heard at breakfast that morning. It was beautiful. Then we headed upstairs for dinner, which for me consisted of caesar salad, filet mignon and scallops,  and more champagne. The filet was tiny as hell and I knew that Irish was going to end up complaining about it later, since I signed him up for that too. Which he did. The scallops were odd tasting, so I didn’t bother to finish them. I went straight to mingling and getting more booze.

When I walked over to the table with Irish and my cousins, the first thing my aunt said to me was something about asparagus pee. We had watched an episode of Good Eats where Alton Brown was talking about it, and apparently Irish had decided to talk to them about it. So weird. Within the next few minutes, my cousin had coerced me into drinking a cable car, some sort of orangey martini, and turned into a huge enabler, telling me to drink more, though I clearly didn’t need it.

The father/daughter and mother/son dances started, so we watched them from the balcony. I was recording them, but apparently my phone’s memory was full and it didn’t save the longer of the two recordings, which sucks. Especially since there wasn’t a videographer at the wedding, just photographers. Hopefully they got some good shots though.

Then came the dancing. I actually got Irish to dance with me. I was very surprised and honestly, after the stunt he pulled by not showing up to the ceremony, he owed me. Plus, I had already forcefully requested that he dance with me at some point in the night. We did some fast dances, rocking out and being silly, then took a break for awhile, grabbed another drink and chilled on the couch a bit. I got up a few times to mingle and dance randomly, but Irish just stayed on the couch. At the end of the night, I finally grabbed him and got him to dance again, then a slower song came on, although it was “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. We did the classic middle/high schooler arms-around-the-neck, swaying dancing. He was trying to move his feet to dance us around in a circle, but I was entirely too drunk at that point to be able to maneuver that and told him to just stand and move. I vaguely remember assaulting him on the dance floor with makeouts. In front of my parents. Ugh. But thankfully my mother has no recollection of it, or just didn’t mention it if she did.

Irish and I ran up to my parents’ hotel room real quick and I got changed and grabbed my stuff to go back home, leaving my parents to have the room to themselves and that way I’d be there to wake Irish on time in the morning. We wandered back downstairs and said our goodbyes to those who remained, saying we’d see them at brunch. I also vaguely remember a conversation with Irish that was basically “Am I coming home with you or staying here?” and after getting no real response, saying bluntly, “Will I be getting sex tonight if I come home with you?” Even though the answer was “no” because he was too tired, I still wanted cuddles. Not that I got them. *harumph*

Monday – Brunch:
Woke up roughly on time and got myself ready before hauling him out of bed to do the same. We were at brunch by 1030, so only an hour late, and there was still plenty of food. Bacon, sausage, french toast, eggs, potatoes, fruit, juice, and coffee. Om nom. Worth the drive just for a free meal in my opinion.

We said our goodbyes and congratulations again, then came back home to nap, since we were both exhausted from the weekend and the early mornings. We didn’t end up doing a whole lot the rest of the day besides being lazy, but that’s what holidays are for.

It was a good weekend and I’m so happy for my brother and my new sister. Also, the date, 10-10-10 was perfect for the wedding. He should never forget the anniversary and it is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Plus, if he does forget, the next day, 10-11, is National Butt-kicking Day, so she’s got that to look forward to. Heh.

Well, this post took entirely too long to write over the course of a few days, but i’m finally heading to bed for the night. I’ll post more about my recent exploits tomorrow or Saturday.

Laters.

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So Irish’s grandmother died recently and we’re currently at his parents’ house with them trying to book their flights. It’s a pain in the ass. I mean, I guess I’d be more accommodating if I were coming with him, but he doesn’t want me to come. And every time I try to say anything at all he just glares at me or puts me down. In front of his fricking parents. I actually had to stifle a cry once already. Oh wait, now we’re leaving abruptly and I’m getting muscled out of here. Bah.

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