Giving Advice I Can’t Take

April 18, 2011 in Mindpieces | 2 comments

I’ve been talking to Spitfire a lot online in the mornings at work and today got pretty deep into the nitty gritty of relationships and our respective troubles with them. In respect to something we talked about today, I found this excerpt from Holly’s blog particularly insightful and applicable:

I guess what most of these guys are saying is “I’m not getting laid and I see that other people are, so those other people must have some super magical unfair advantage.” Well, sort of, but that advantage is a lot more common than you think, and has a lot less to do with “being a millionaire lawyer with perfect abs” and a lot more to do with “acting like women are people.” As long as women are The Challenge, The Enemy, The Gatekeeper, The Quarry, or any other fucked-up-all-to-hell metaphor, you’re going to keep having trouble with us.

If we’re people, well… no more and no less trouble than any other kind of people, is all I can promise you.

Hopefully he’ll read this. In fact, Spitfire, you really should read more of Holly’s blog. It’s quite awesome and full of sexy times and insight into the minds of the types of women who are actually worth your time. Aka not bitches, but cool geeky chicks. Who like sex. Wait, that’s redundant. Har.

I did, however, find the painful irony and unfortunate bits of me giving advice on relationships to Spitfire: I can’t seem to take my own advice. I can tell him all I want that he can do this or this and that it could help him with women, but I feel like it means almost nothing coming from someone who isn’t in the perfect relationship as it is. Sigh. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with Irish, happier than with any other boyfriends I’ve had, but I’m well aware that the situation could be improved.

Actually, I was working on dealing with some problems and trying to improve our relationship through good, old-fashioned communication, but right at the climax of our chat, AngryGinger arrived for video game playing. So there’s currently a big pause button on the conversation. Hoping it’ll resume when AG leaves tonight.

And it’s nothing against him, but he has the worst timing for these kinds of things. But it’s a bit my own fault, since I knew he was coming over tonight and just couldn’t get up the nerve to talk about things with Irish until the last minute. As per usual.

Well, they’re still playing Marvel vs Capcom 3, so I’m gonna sit here and read my smut.

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Pro Tip #3

April 5, 2011 in Mindpieces | Permalink

I’ve recently been assured that some men think it’s annoying when women talk about themselves. Well, duh. That makes sense. Most people can’t tolerate listening about someone talk about themselves constantly. But hearing about ourselves is just weird sometimes. Which brings me to the next Pro Tip:

We all want to be complimented, but hearing compliments too much can be annoying, unnerving, and can even feel faked or forced. I like being told nice things, as it feels reassuring and makes me feel better about myself. But when someone constantly calls me pretty, or hot, or gorgeous, it loses its value and I feel like they’re just saying it because they feel like they should, not because they mean it. It can get to the point that I feel the opposite is true, and they’re trying to appease me by saying these things, but in fact making things worse.

That being said, this applies more to suitors and guy friends than it does to a current partner. For instance, hearing a compliment from Irish is almost always met with joy and sometimes surprise. Granted, he doesn’t overdo it. In fact, I’d love for him to compliment me more often, but I think his opinion is that it’d get old and tired quickly. Not sure if I agree there.

But anyway, my point was that when my guys compliment me too much, it becomes counterproductive and actually makes me shrink away from them a bit, cuz they seem too eager to please and like they’re trying too hard to make me feel good around them. Here’s a hint: if I feel good around you, it’s because of the way you treat me and act around me, not necessarily the things you say. In this case, actions indeed speak louder than words.

While I appreciate compliments as much as the next girl, don’t overdo it. You’re hurting yourself and making me feel like I am, in actuality, not hot or cute or whatever. If I stop smiling and/or giggling when you do it, that’s because it’s no longer working, so lay off it for awhile. Just saying. Err… just writing.

Sometimes a hug or a random cuddle means more to me and does more for my ego and self-esteem than a compliment, whether it’s warranted or not. I’m not sure if this applies to just me or to the bulk of females, but hopefully it lands somewhere in between and someone finds it helpful.

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Recent Movies

March 28, 2011 in Mindpieces | Permalink

Hey there, Internet. It’s been awhile. Sorry bout that. I’ve been busy with work and a sickly boyfriend and stuff and… finding excuses not to post. But in that time, I have seen 2 movies in the theatre. Which is more than I have seen in the past few months. It was much needed and enjoyed.

Adjustment Bureau:
Saw this with Gadget while Irish was working last Saturday. It was awesome. I finally got to have popcorn at the movies. First time in years. (Irish doesn’t like popcorn for some reason.) The movie was really good and I’m going to be avoiding people in hats for awhile. Just in case they’re after me. You never know.

It had romance and action and I felt it covered a lot of demographics of moviewatchers. I highly recommend it. It was a lot less Matrix-ish than I expected, which is good. It was like Bourne, with Inception qualities. Very well done.

Sucker Punch:
Saw this with Irish and AngryGinger this weekend. It covered a lot of audiences too. It was very creative and well done. It had a lot of interesting camera work. The anime style to the fighting is really cool. The different scenarios are imaginative and colorful, while violent and action-packed, but not violent enough to warrant an R rating. And I may have found a new costume for my stash of cosplay things. Babydoll. I’ve done similar costumes before, so it’s nothing new to me, and she’s blonde which makes things easier.

I’ve heard a lot of varying opinions on the movie, mostly bipolar/polarized – either loving it or hating it. Both Irish and I have tried to remind people to keep in mind that the whole movie takes place in a young girl’s imagination while she’s locked up and dreaming of escaping. This causes it to be very over the top and quite ridiculous at times.

Overall, I liked it. It was ridiculous and fun and fast-paced. Not one of my top movies, but a good one to see while it’s still in theatres.
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Also, I got my first BzzAgent pack, so we’ll see how that whole thing goes. Not sure exactly of all I need to do for it yet. And I’ve been playing a lot of De Blob 2 – it’s pretty awesome.

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St. Practice Day

March 12, 2011 in Mindpieces | Permalink

Last night was pretty awesome. Went to the shooting range again with Irish, AngryGinger, and Gadget. I kept having terrible luck with guns jamming and misfiring. I don’t know if it was me or the guns but I went back to a Sig instead and had better luck. Still jammed but not as bad. And at least the clip was a lot easier to load than the others. They clearly don’t clean their guns properly at all. But here’s the results with the Sig:

I’m pretty proud of this. And I did it pretty quickly too cuz the place was closing in a minute.

Afterward, we went to get drinks and food at Applebees since they were doing their Saint Practice Day specials, it being the Friday before St. Patrick’s Day and all. We got green beer and boneless wings.

And of course after a pitcher of green Yuengling, I had to grab a green margarita… Which are normally green in color but oh well, tequila!

Overall, a fantastic way to start the irishest week of the year.

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On Target

March 2, 2011 in Mindpieces | Permalink

We went shooting for the first time last night and I forgot to take a picture of the aftermath before we put a new target over it, but here’s the result of the first 80 shots or so. I took the top target off this morning, so that’s why it’s kinda hard to tell where I shot. But it’s also fairly obliterated from so many bullets.

I started with a Sig P238 and its accuracy was totally crap. Yes, it was a rental gun, but still… The second gun I used was a Sig P229 Elite and was a bit better and had better sights on it. I loaded up my last clip of the night and put on the fresh target. Here’s the result:

The first round I fired hit within the center ring. I whooped and got very excited, then proceeded to not do as well for the rest of the clip, but oh well. Little victories are good for me. Irish even said I did really well.

Overall I felt that I did pretty well and I do want to go again. The personal impact was greater than I expected though, and I felt almost terrified for a while after. I’m not sure what that was about. I know I didn’t hurt anybody, but I think the idea that I could have and that it’d be so easy to do such damage to another person… it was kinda scary.

But I’m glad I did it and am looking forward to going again. Next time I’ll get something easier to fire, like the 380 Auto or even the 22. Gotta have variety, ya know.

I do find it amusing that we came home from the range and then played COD: MW2 the rest of the night, though.

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Daily Trivia

February 25, 2011 in Mindpieces | Permalink

Today’s Trivia is easy. Got 10/10 without even trying.

http://www.funtrivia.com/email/play.cfm?egroup=763126&tmp=1298599536

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Pervocracy Catchup

February 19, 2011 in Mindpieces | Permalink

We were eating lunch and I found where I left off on Holly’s Blog. The post contained this paragraph:

And yet I can’t help but feel unfulfilled being unfilled. Partly this is because of baggage: if a guy can’t get it up for intercourse that means I’m not sexy and if he refuses intercourse that means he doesn’t really like me. (Especially as popular wisdom holds that guys never refuse intercourse, therefore if it happens to me it must be really bad news.) Some of that’s probably true, too. Not “augh I’m a warthog,” but “I don’t have a close enough relationship with anyone for them to be fully sexually open to me” really is true, I think.

This is how I feel way too often. I mean, I know I’m not the prettiest princess and that I really need to lose a few pounds… or 20… but that doesn’t mean I’m not attractive. Plenty of guys let me know that I’m attractive. I get hit on or at least checked out, which actually feels nice, all things considered. But what feels the best is when close friends make it clear that I deserve so much, because they think I’m special and fantastic and attractive. Granted, most of them might just say those things because they want to steal me away from Irish or something. Who knows? I can only TRY to understand what others think.

I guess what I just don’t understand then is how my current situation happens. Holly’s post was talking about having a lot of everything-but sex which was leaving her feeling unfulfilled. I would love that to be my situation. At least it’s something. I just hate feeling like I’m not attractive because I’m not getting attention from the only one who actually matters.

And it’s not like we haven’t talked about it, either. Because we have. Ad nauseam. But I guess it just goes to show that what they say is true, you can’t change a man. But I keep trying regardless.

Maybe I’m being too needy or something again.

I’m gonna go catch up on some more Pervocracy, since Irish is playing Fallout. So much for hitting the gym together. Sigh.

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Pro Tip #2

February 15, 2011 in Mindpieces | 2 comments

When a girl mentions in passing that she’s not into all that cliche Valentine’s Day stuff… ignoring it is usually a safe bet.

Case in point:
While talking to Irish a few weeks ago, I had mentioned my Valentine’s Day experience from last year, including how Jay had gotten me everything – teddy bear, balloon, flowers, card, chocolates, etc. – because I had never gotten any of that stuff before. But in that case, it was too little, too late. Damage had been done to the relationship that just couldn’t be undone with cute or tasty gifts.

Well even after hearing that, I received an edible arrangement, teddy bear, and balloon at work yesterday. It was awesome and I was squeeing like a fool. Unfortunately it was after 5 so most people had gone home, but I still texted some friends and ran to my girl upstairs to have a girly squealing fit together. And to share a chocolate covered piece of fruit.

I had already received a box of chocolates from Irish that he had AngryGinger grab for him, and I figured that was all I’d be getting. I was wrong. And I’m glad I was.

Also, when he was making the steaks for dinner (so very delicious), I checked my email and saw he had sent me a gift certificate for Squishable.com so that I can get myself a fox when it comes back in stock. I started squeeing again and ran over and hugged him for ages. It was awesome.

So the safest bet when it comes to Valentine’s, or really any holiday, is to get your girl something small at least, just to show you care. Even if it’s just a card. But if you think she’s more receptive, then go bigger, because it will be appreciated, and you will get hella brownie points.

Even is she says she doesn’t want to exchange gifts, you should still get her something. Saying that you’re not going to get each other gifts on a holiday for financial reasons or something is a TRAP. Better safe than sorry, and in this case it’s better to err on the side of giving too much, to an extent of course. Keep it sweet and simple.

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Spinning Flash is a Happy Flash

February 11, 2011 in Mindpieces | Permalink

I’m very proud of my awesome creation of the day. I had been working on it off and on for a few days and trying to figure out the ActionScript for it to work. I had a breakthrough today and here it is. My spinning compass of awesome. It’s in Flash, so that’s unfortunate for iStuff, but hey, at least computers can view it, and maybe some Droids too.

Hopefully this will be the beginning of many more fun, animated and pretty things at work. Though that means more work for me, it also means more recognition. And they’ll need me to stay around to keep doing these types of things. I hope.

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Gun Shopping

February 10, 2011 in Mindpieces | Permalink

We went gun shopping with AngryGinger a few weeks ago and it has been cemented: if I buy a gun, I want a Sig Sauer Mosquito. Probably not the pink one anymore, but just the basic black. And I totally want a thigh holster for it like Jill Valentine from Resident Evil 5. Like this. Cuz next time I do that costume, I want it to be more authentic. And I’ve got a better blue shirt now since AngryGinger gave me this for Xmas. Even though it’s a men’s style, it still fits pretty well. So it’s cool.

And IrishBro gave Irish a tactical belt that I might be able to steal from him to use as well. A few weeks ago I looted a grenade holster pack from a friend as well as a bunch of Army BDUs and such. He was moving and just wanted to get rid of extra stuff. And I’m a geek for anything military so…. it worked. If Irish ever wears that stuff, so help me…. he’s gonna get jumped so hard. I really wish he still had his Marines stuff, cuz the Marines are the sexiest armed forces, in my opinion.

I’m gonna go fantasize about that for awhile now…. sigh…

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