Took me forever to finish that paper for Shakespeare, but dammit, it’s done. I ended up procrastinating until midnight when TinyFists sent me her paper and said that she grabbed some wine and it helped her. I figured it was worth a shot, so I did. In the next 4 hours I damn near finished the paper. I worked with Gunnie on it while I was writing it, so it actually took longer than it should’ve, but it’s alright cuz I ended up with a slightly better paper at the end of it.

Gunnie called me in the morning at around 10. I’d had 4 hours of sleep. We went over corrections. I went back to sleep. Then Beast called and I told him to meet me at noon at the library cuz that’s when I had to turn in my paper. I ended up getting no more sleep and wound up getting down to the library at about 12, but couldn’t find the room until about 12:10 or so. I turned in the paper and we were walking back down when I saw someone from my class who was also lost finding the room to which we were to take the papers. I guided her and then we left.

We walked back up the hill to Walker and I realized that we live right next to each other and yet went all the way to the library so he could give me the money he owed me for the IndieCade registration. We finally got to the top of the hill and he handed me the money, as I made a joke about it looking like a drug deal or something. He said that it would make it look even worse if I shoved the money in my bra or something. I was shocked enough at the fact that Beast said that, but even more at the idea of it. I said it’d be exhibitionism too because I’d have to either go up under my shirt, exposing myself, or reach down the neck hole, either way would look awkward and ridiculous. I put the money in my back pocket saying “I’ll just put it in my pants” and we just laughed over it. We said our goodbyes til Tuesday and I went inside.

The original idea was to go back to bed, but I realized I had to go to Gunnie’s soon enough and got a shower and messed with my computer for too long then ate my leftover Chop Suey. Went to Gunnie’s and didn’t really get anything done. Dan didn’t get the files to us that we needed and so we were SOL. I suggested we go to Starbucks and we ended up spending hours there talking about things. I mentioned that even though it may sound narcissistic, I think the world would be better off and there would be more happy people if more girls were like me. We laughed. We talked for awhile about my worries of Irish and his lack of affection showing. Also how I don’t know how he feels, but I know how I feel. I know it doesn’t matter really how he feels or if he’ll ever feel the same way. I just want to be with him for as long as I can. I know that much.

Later, Clancy came over and we played Ticket to Ride. I would’ve won because I had a natural 75 points before the route score. Clancy only had 49. But we both beat Gunnie. Foodie  showed up in the middle of the game and was talking to us. I once again opened my mouth entirely too freely around him. I don’t know what it is about him that makes me do that, but I just start spilling the most inappropriate stuff to him. We all talked for awhile as I was waiting for Irish to get home anyway since he had to stay late for work.

At some point I know I mentioned the 17 yr old engaged and preggers thing b/c Gunnie said ‘oops’ and I said “No oops. Never say oops. Oops is bad” He didn’t quite get it at first, but did eventually. I also made some sort of crack to Foodie and the guys when someone said something about “he’d get lost in the bush” and responded that “no he wouldn’t.” Foodie’s reaction was basically “well, damn” and the other two were kinda blown away in general and confused.

So after entirely too much talking on my part, I left for Irish’s and got there around 9. He was asleep. I curled up next to him and we napped together shortly. Then we watched Chuck and House with Jack and cokes. I was hoping he was going to get a bit drunk and want to fool around. I was wrong. We went to bed and I stopped reading early again. Then I started touching his stomach and back and kissing up and down his side since he had his back to me. After a long time, he finally said that he wasn’t in the mood and to try him in the morning. I was a bit annoyed because I was a bit frustrated already, but knew I couldn’t do anything about it and tried to go to sleep.

Sleep didn’t come. I tried. I ended up turning my light back on and reading for awhile until I finally felt I was a bit sleepy. He had fallen asleep about an hour or so before me at this point. I figured if nothing else, that’d help the morning thing. I always wake up before him and then can’t keep still or fall back asleep.

Throughout the night, we were both restless, him his usual self, and me too hopped up on caffeine to stay knocked out. A few times in the night, I tried to get curled up to him and failed miserably. It wasn’t until I stopped trying that he actually got close to me. At some point, he rolled over when I was on my side and pulled me to him, pulling himself closer as well. He wrapped his arms all the way around me and put his mouth on my neck and the back of my head and sighed. This warm feeling of just, pure awesome spread through my body. I could hardly believe he was doing it. I snuggled down and enjoyed the time being held by him, even if it was just in his sleep so it was his subconscious doing it. At least I know that his subconscious has feelings for me.

Every time we ended up apart after that, he still managed to move back to pull me in once more, getting into the same position each time. It was amazing and awesome. I felt loved for maybe the first time in this relationship. It just felt… wow. I hardly have to words.

After awhile, I tried doing some light grinding of my butt to his pelvis and stroked my leg up and down his in what I hoped was a sexual way. He shifted and moved against me a bit but nothing major. It took quite a few episodes of trying like that to finally get his attention. In fact, what finally did it was when I reached my leg back, rubbing against his, and then bent it so that it was behind him. It felt almost yoga-ish. He responded. He slid his hand down from its place under my head and slid it onto my leg, rubbing softly.

—— omitted ——

I just lay on my stomach, pleased as anything. In the after glow, I said “Good morning. I like waking up like this.” He chuckled and we curled up together and went back to sleep for awhile.

After I got up to take a shower, I heard him get up too. Then there were noises in the kitchen and I was thinking about making egg sandwiches for breakfast. When I came out of the shower, he had made scrambled eggs with 2 forks so that I was clearly supposed to have some. It was very cool. Then we installed his new taillights and antenna and I helped, kinda.

We went out and ran some errands that he had to do, going to gamestop and such, then walked the mall awhile, hitting Borders and trying to catch AngryGinger at work at Apple, but that failed. I also had forgotten my wallet so I couldn’t buy anything I wanted anyway. We were leaving the mall and he asked if I was hungry, and I was, but I also knew I didn’t have any money, so I made it clear to him that we could go anywhere he wanted to and I can’t complain about it, since he’s definitely paying for it. I think the odd look he gave me and the general confusion meant that he had intended to pay regardless, and while I don’t know if that’s true, it’s a nice idea.

We decided on Ruby Tuesday and were going to get drinks, but then I realized I didn’t have my ID on me. Luckily the guy didn’t ask for it so he got a martini, medium dry, stirred, and I got a Ruby Relaxer. After waffling on what I wanted for actual food, I ended up getting BBQ chicken with broccoli and mashed potatoes. It was good. I then found out that he likes Tiramisu. I was almost speechless. I have never met anyone else that actually liked it. I told him this. We got one and split it. It was delicious.

We went to a car parts/accessories place and ArtPunk  finally called me back about Saturday night festivities. They were going to a show in Towson then the bar near it at midnight. I knew it didn’t sound that great and then adding the late night factor into it, I decided against it. Then told Irish about it. He was in agreement of the stupidity of the event for the 2 of us.