I find the irony and ridiculousness in the fact that mere hours after saying I’ll do shorter, more  focused posts, I write a 1000 word post that rambles. But it was for Grapple, so it’s worth it. And I feel like it really got some things off my chest that I’ve been stressing about and dealing with lately. But I know that even though I’m aware of the problem and essentially why I’m doing it, I won’t stop. Cuz that’d be giving up, which in my world is akin to failure.

I used to say, if you don’t try, you can’t fail. I no longer believe that. If you don’t try, you automatically fail, and I can’t stand that.

Now, when I can’t do something right, I keep pushing myself harder and harder until I can, or at least I hit my limit and find the sane (or slightly insane) place to stop. This has happened with:

• DDR
• Guitar Hero
• weight lifting/gym stuff
• Dance Central
• God of War
• lots of other video games, actually…

Usually, it’s a digital barrier for me, because that is something that is set by a programmer and is not going to get any easier unless I figure out how to do it right.

Also, I got 150 hits yesterday. Beating my previous high (29) 5 times over. Holy crap!