So today marks officially one month. Spike came to my party on Saturday and it was kinda hard to be around him. I’m not sure how to function as just his friend. I’m working on moving on already but it’s slow going and emotionally taxing.

The guy I’ve been talking to, lets call him Badass, is still talking to me and definitely likes me. We finally met on Sunday and it went really well. We’re supposed to go to my hometown’s carnival on Thursday. So that should be pretty awesome. He even texted me after we parted ways with how much he liked me and how well he thought it went. Again, I’m unsure of how I feel about starting a new relationship just yet, but I know that it’s probably the best way to get over Spike.

It’s been two weeks since Spike and I broke up. Things have been up and down since then, and it’s been a little rough. Like with many of my breakups, I wasn’t even sure at first how to continue with my life. I felt things would be so different without him around. And while they are different, they’re also not necessarily bad. And we’re trying to still be friends which is helpful. Though I do really miss him sometimes.

I’m working on just being me and enjoying life by myself and with friends. I find that I’m happiest when I’m with friends like TinyFists and Hiker. Whether we’re hiking or hot tubbing or just chilling and drinking wine or martinis. I’ve even been using iMoodJournal on my phone to track how I’m feeling. It’s been really helpful for tracking my moods and finding when I feel my best. It just happens that those times are when I’m being social and with friends.

In order to connect with new people and make new friends or relationship possibilities, I’ve joined OkCupid. I’ve been talking to a couple guys on there and have been weeding through what I want and don’t want. I found that you discover a lot about yourself when you have to fill out a profile for a dating site and have to shuffle through so many profiles of others, looking for all the traits you want in a significant other. While I’m not necessarily ready for a new relationship just yet, I’m not going to run away from something that seems like it could be promising for long-term. These things happen when you’re not particularly looking for them.

I’ve been emailing and texting with a guy fairly regularly for about a week, and it seems like it could be promising. So that’s a positive thing that’s been happening. He’s been encouraging me to do things for me and is helping me find the things that I actually like to do alone. He’s been helping me uncover the reasons for why I am the way I am and figuring out what needs to be fixed before being in a new relationship. If nothing else, he’s very flattering and makes me feel good about myself, making my self-esteem skyrocket, which is always a good thing for me and definitely something I need right now.